Of course they do. They're the ones who tell you how to feel about a story with the appropriate emoji.

But it comes with your choice of free college tuition!

Evey child in earshot gets a piece of hard candy!

No question the system got what it deserved, but we're still stuck with the most horrifying leaders imaginable until at least 2018.

"Everybody uses their own private aviary. What's the big deal?"

Yep. I honestly believe Sanders would have had a much better chance against Trump. He doesn't even know what "emails" are.

There's no question. The DNC's soul is more fractured than the RNC. And that's totally fucked.

Bannon has made him so learned!

"Hey, I'm working this corner, Ted!"
—Dave Mustaine

"polished versions of the highlighted moments"?! Wrong! Everybody loves their children every single moment exactly as it appears!

Make one, then delete it, post-haste!

Even though S4 eventually righted the ship (pun intended), I do think Enterprise ultimately got what it deserved.

We are wall crawlers?! Somebody call JJJ, we're a menace!

How many are we up to now?

♪ Hold me closer, Onion Dancer
Get me off on the holo-deeeeeck ♪

And people called the character "a one-dimensional sex object"…!

DON'T YOU DARE.

But that's the briliance of straight-to-syndication. 100 episodes is a guarantee.

HOW DO I MAKE THE INTERNET DO NCIS, SON?!

What a relief, there's still so much more we don't know about this guy.