But the Prophet Dan Ackroyd decreed that we shall have no formal contact with alien species, especially after 9/11!

Huh. That is a little bit fun!

"Ahhh! Natural light! Get it off me! GET IT OFF ME!"

The damn Sentinels alone on Lakeshore Drive made me 20 minutes late for work this morning!

Relax, Jimmy Fallon's been off the show for years.

♪ I don't want to wait

That's a big self-ZING!, Sir. Well done!

Goddamn it. Really wish it were legal for CPS to step in for shit like this.

Dude, spoilers!

"Are you happy now, geeks!? We'll fuckin' talk more about Barb! Jesus Fucking Christ."

What the… a reason to watch SNL?! What year is this…?

According to Breitbart, Operation: Jade Helm was a resounding success for our Illuminati Overlords.

If I may be so bold, get a ceramic one. They wear down much less quickly.

The A.V. Club

I can see that. To me, he looks like he could have been one of the grim, nutjob squatters at the wildlife refuge with Ammon Bundy & co.

Oooh, shit. That's rough, pal. Barkeep! A shot for my boy, here.

If I can't get Simpsons quote-related comments right, the rules state I have to relinquish my username.

Just don't be readin' my mind between 4-5pm. That's Billy's time!

Yeah, Ed Harris is always best as Evil Ed Harris, in my opinion.

We don't even know if we're still dealing with Kreiger Prime, or his clone!