It's the Carlos Mencia of sitcoms. So. Fucking. Phony.

And also note Colbert doesn't even make the list. Again, God fucking damn you, CBS.

Fuck that. Look at Bill Cocksucker O'Reilly's salary and try to keep your lunch down.

"Take a goddamn shower, then get the fuck out of my basement." — hyperbolic paranoid's mom

It's a grower, not a show-er!

I love these meet-drunk romcoms!

And it fits him like a Glove…r.

That's-a spicy stereotype-a!

You other kaiju can't deny!

Even if none of them are as hot as Ivanka?!

My Mike and the Mechanics tee is getting ready to peak!

If you've used the right fabric softener, that's a snuggly way to die.

Look, Maximum Overdrive simply wasn't that scary, man.

We're equal opportunity discrimination around here!

I want this fixed, understand? Fixed like Kennedy fixed the 1960 election!

…And I'll go into peoples' houses at night and wreck up the place!

Arrrrroooooo!

Hey, so am I! High five!

I'm a better driver than my ex.

So is Crispin Glover!