I want roast beef, you clod!

Ooh, ooh! "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"! I'm great at these. Go on, ask me if something smells funny in here!

Hoo hoo huh! They don't care whose toes they step on!

This is where MADtv would insert a sketch with some embarrassingly broad portrayal of a drunken Russian network executive who's annoyed he's been interrupted during his bear wrestling break.

Imagine all the shittiest seasons of SNL wrapped around a gooey center of disturbingly retrograde racial stereotypes.

I love the brilliantly subtle shades that guy brings to his roles.

I want to see the drawings for The New Kids on the Blech!

I was hoping this was a revival of Madmoiselle TV, and they were buying the letters on the installment plan.

Why would a schoolteacher with no legitimate medical background lie, though?!

Yes.

Hashtag that shit, and we have a winner.

BAZINGO!

Owww! OWW! They're defending themselves somehow!

Can't quite put my finger on it, but maybe the cadence sounds off…?

Heh heh. He's talkin' funny talk!

[JIM BELUSHI… ALIVE]

He always drinks plenty of… "Malk"?!

This just in: @ArgieBargie:disqus sued for libel by James Woods' dealer

You tell me, Peterson. You had a pretty good view from behind your desk.

"Fake?!"