Now I understand why Draymond doesn’t like playing Denver. He hates the Nuggets!

“New Zealand is next to Australia. Is that considered Down Under? Dangit, I don’t know. What about how he’s a Kiwi and he got kicked in his wee-wee? Nope. Nothing there. Ooh, how about something about the word ‘beefin’ in the title? No, that’s too obvious. Crap! I’m not good at this!”

If Green plays in Game 4 and the Warriors eventually take the series, the “This league is fixed!” shouts may never stop coming from Oklahoma City.

Affirmed.

BREAKING: Stapp infection outbreak in Washington locker room.

Interestingly, this actually does offend 9 out of 10 Native Americans.

Law and Order: Special Sauce Unit

The thought of Bartolo Colon: Deadbeat Dad makes me sad, but the thought of Bartolo Colon: Attorney at Law makes me happy.

Say what you want about the tenets of Washington football, at least it’s an ethos.

Dear Fox: C’mon, get him on the Series. You can make this happen. Let the whole nation get one more chance to listen to the best to ever do it.

“But it puts the water in you while you’re drinking. Vodka water, so you’re getting your fluids.”

Does off-the-field Gronk even have any new ground to cover?

RAMSAY DOES A LOT OF BAD THINGS TO PEOPLE OK

10/1: Tormund Giantsbane

“Jedi Brett Michaels”

Despite the fact that Simmons has, uh, limited camera appeal...

We’re neighbors, then. I live just off 32nd and Red River.

This is a disgrace. A bunch of sweaty, jacked-up men running around Vegas, rippling muscles barely contained by their tight uniforms?

That’s just great MOTOR and WANTING IT MORE. He’s like the JJ Watt of jacking it.

Not 5 hours, and I’d say Tom’s theory of the death of the hot take has been debunked.