Give McClown a chance!

Get ready for staring, grimacing…and soliloquys? You bet!

*sarcasm detector explodes*

I edited my previous comment, so now you look crazy. It's my only defence!

Fair point.

*taps nose knowingly*

I deeply respect and honor your right to be wrong on this important issue.

It's vegansplaining, and that I cannot forgive!

Sometimes I envy my dog. At least when he drags his swollen anus on the rug, he has a good excuse!

Just a kid with a crazy dream!

"Nice to meet you. Here, this book provides a number of methods of killing people that I have not, repeat have NOT used. The book is non-exhaustive—there are many, MANY more methods of killing people that I could have listed and which I have not used. Please open your book to page one and follow along with me…"

You don't need to wait—as long as the yak has received enlightenment, she is happy to ease your suffering with her milk. She gives it freely, not begrudgingly like a cow or goat. She yakcepts you. She yakuiesces in the milking. Here, look at this testimonial: http://heavytable.com/whats…

Not quite vegan—they'll drink yak milk, but only if it's given freely by the yaks, so you can truly enjoy it. Supplied straight from Prince's fridge.

America has 1686 songs with "rainbow" in the title, according to the ASCAP website's search function. In fact, Tin Pan Alley used to be called "Rainbow Song Alley", where many a young songsmith would learn his craft by hawking broadsheets of rainbow-related songs in exchange for ha'pennies or root beer barrel…

That is fantastic. Take a bow, you wonderful, crazy jackass.

The real danger to necks are the old land line phones, where you'd bunch up your shoulder to keep the phone against your ear (so you could have both hands free)—I never see anyone doing that with a cell phone because they're too small and thin. And shriners—they also have it in for your neck.

With a name like Bad Veins, I was expecting death metal. You know…"GRAHHHHHH! GRAH! RAINBOW ANAL GRAHHHHHH! LOCUST! RAIIIIIINBOW! GRAAAAAH SUF-FER!", and so forth.

I'm not really convinced that watching tv is more dangerous for your body than, say, sitting and reading a book. The only difference I can think of, apart from the fact that the blue cathode rays steal your dreams and bicycles, is that there's more of a tendency to eat mindlessly while watching tv because the hands…

I'll head straight to Rand McNally!

*flips through Spanish-English dictionary* I think they're saying they…want…Taco Bell.