"Let the liquor do the parenting!" - Dad, 1979

A lot of people don't know how to drink whiskey. You have to drink with the grain of the liquor, not against the grain.

But then she won't have time to star in the Red Sonja movie that I wrote out on a bar napkin last night! I admit, though, there are script problems—so far the script just says "Hendricks—Red Sonja—NO GRAVITY—sweet devil gin—never enough olives—salt mine—maybe Africa?—call bocking [sic]—CREDITS"

Bill Murray: honorary awesome uncle to the universe.

I haven't seen it either. See also: the big bang theory, two and a half men, etc. There's a whole bag of shite tv I've successfully avoided. *pats self on back; burps contentedly*

You may ask yourself: why such giant pants?

Ha, touché. Ordinarily I don't quibble over typos, but this one fit so nicely with the article. *raises a glass; glass explodes*

Meanwhile, the positive feedback to a commenter from O'Neal caused alarming noises to emit from Hell's boilers. Satan eyed the thermostat with concern.

I love taking a big long pull of a brilliant turn of phrase.

Does anybody remember laughter?

*followed by a spirited blanket hornpipe*

*Annie tentatively raises a hand; Winger pushes it down*

*lights the nudeviking symbol*

It seems pretty venial to say that if the stars of a comedy movie are not funny, he hopes they'll at least be nice to look at. The language isn't ideal, but I don't think the sentiment is indicative of true evil.

Shiite just got real.

We have a right to know!

You're thinking of Dick Cavett.

I'm roughly of O'Neal's generation, so I remember making sure to watch the Dukes of Hazzard when I was in grade one & loving the A-Team (particularly Murdoch) in grade 4. The show that I loved the most, though, was probably Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. I had low self-esteem as a kid because I sucked (and continue to…

I can't resist this one:

It's arguably about the same as a cigar in terms of grossness. I don't smoke them anymore, but I did for years and still admire the fuck-it spirit of those who persevere with them. You get good at patting it with your thumb so that little bits of tobacco don't go in your mouth. Once you get used to them, a filtered…