Globe Trekker can be pretty good, though some of the travellers/hosts are better than others.

Pray for Mojo.

Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?

My parents had no problem with my brother and I watching stuff on our own, so I never felt the need to compel them to watch anything. That said, there was one occasion where I felt very guilty about something they watched. When we were about 10 and 12 years old, we convinced them to rent Eddie Murphy's "Delerious"…

I hate that bit too. If someone says, "People from Phoenix are Phoenicians" it should suffice to call him/her an irritating fuckwit.

I take your point about Louis C.K., though I'm not sure his support of Tracy Morgan's snappy homophobic antics was part of his actual comedy routine. Louis C.K. can be pretty cutting in some of his routines, e.g. about spoiled kids like "Jizanthepus", but he changed the name [presumably from "Anthony"] so that he's…

I'm not going to bad-mouth Joan Rivers—she was damn good at what she did—but there isn't a nice/mean dichotomy in comedy. Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts" or Mitch Hedberg's one-liners or Louis C.K.'s jokes that explore the depths of his own mind are neither nice nor mean. There's definitely a lot of room between those…

I'll be giving ye three guesses, dear brother, and it ain't tartar sauce. Ya har!

*mumbles his agreement, but his Habsburg jaw makes his words unintelligible*

No, I think Sweetness is referring to the story about that seagull who loved flying. All the other seagulls were petty squabblers who didn't truly experience the joy of flight. I think the book was called Deathrace Emperor 5000.

Wine is fine, but liquor is drunkeringer.

Researchers posit that the action-movie-related gluttony could be nullified by taking LSD. Noted scientist Billy Boy elaborated, "I mean, I'm talking a shit-ton of acid—where you can't remember your own name and your friends are so concerned that they start knitting a seat-cover with your name on it for the…

I can tell you that when I watch Downton Abbey, even the threat of hellfire or back tits cannot stop me from gorging on blancmange.

Given his apparent sexual attraction to women, I'd say it's probably performance anxiety. I've been there—it took me a while to relax with someone when I was younger. That (self-inflicted) pressure can have all kinds of side effects—I would get so wrapped up in it that one of my ex-girlfriends in high school said…

Look, it's perfectly simple: one stone is 14 pounds, 12 pence to a bob or shilling, two bob to a florin, one gold sovereign to a loonie, 5 shillings to a crown, two crowns to a guinea, which is 116 shillings and three farthings (which are written as "3/4 d." for denarii, which is the plural of denarius, the mother of…

I read it as a misspelling of "catfish".

Han Solo: Goddamn it, Lobot, I need you to be quiet!
Kristian Nairn as Lobot [insistently]: Lobot!
[Max Rebo kicks Lobot in the nuts]
Kristian Nairn as Lobot [pained]: Loooobot!

You all laughed at me for continuing to use a blackberry, but the security of my server ensures that only I get to decide if and when to release that picture of my dick in its adorable fox-hunting outfit. *raises blackberry triumphantly, but the sudden movement makes it shut down*

I cringe whenever the media refers to him as "the Biebs". I don't think he deserves enough attention to warrant a nickname. I would generously allow "noted fuckwit Justin Bieber" or "legendary waste of skin Justin Bieber".

Wait till they release it in Smell-o-Vision! Mmm, street feet!