Pfft. They're gonna leave him at the airport, Kiffin style.

Congratulations! I am glad I read all the way to the end of these. I am very happy for you!

100 (and counting, I presume) baseball fans can't be wrong.

Thank you for drawing Andrew Luck as a doof you'd see in Cracked Magazine. Oh, that's a photo? Never mind.

"...in nutrition, of all things..." is not surprising. My wife switched to Chemistry from Food Science because most of the Food Science majors had eating disorders. And don't get me started on the Marriage and Family Therapy faculty at my undergrad. Sheesh.

Is there a recipe for tapioca pudding?

Does this have something to do with Taylor Swift's cat?

If only...

And to think they tried to frame him.

Your doodoo-ing it wrong.

They have a pill for that.

Nice brah-do.

Reminds me of this:

"Half the country was shitting itself in fear of shitting itself." Come out of the greys, sir.

bless you out of the greys

Wonder Twin powers.... activate! Form of: pussy! Smell of: bacon!

...so I told 'em I was Charlie Sheen!

The online birth control part is probably a recording of 3 kids arguing over whether squirrels eat dog vomit and then yelling "Mom!!!!" at which point the caller is supposed to referee.

I'm available tomorrow!

Is that you, Joan? I thought you were dead!