The Colts already lost a draft pick in the Trent Richardson trade. Isn't that penalty enough?

Were they real and spectacular?

Ouch! I was going for Tom Hanks' FBI agent character in "Catch Me if You Can." You must be going for, uh, something else.

Thanks for giving us the Colts!

I think you mean poo poo.

Everybody knows that crime(a) doesn't gay.

Actually, it is kind of nice. I hope the little tyke lives.

"Cool, an article about us! High five!!! High five. High five? Anyone?" - Tom Brady

Too bad they weren't Timexes, what with the whole takes a licking and keeps on ticking thing.

Good frickin' grief. Sorry to hear that. Check your city ordinances and hope that the neighbors are in violation.

The trouble is that the balloon inflates nicely, but deflates after only 2 minutes.

I bet he used Cockstarter or Scrotfundme.

Argh. This is the trivialization of a serious topic. Abortions should be legal, but rare.

"Are you ready to roast!" -Dio

"I see nothing wrong with these ads." -Charlton Heston

As one who works from home, I can tell you that unsupervised dogs tend to be very barky and irritating.

I read this as 90,000 pounds of chicken taint. Ew.

Snuck 'em in through the back door.

All hail The Onion!