Billy Hamilton IS that fast.

Baby got back (to school).

The correct answer is: it feels pretty dang great.

Boston or Philly? Bud Selig says it's a tie.

Five minutes? I can judge them in less than two.

Hell, *I* would monetize my farts if I could.

Knock knock?

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

Paging Daniel Snyder!

Is this related to the tweet beat?

Bangkok, Oriental city.

Wang pulls out. Does not consummate deal.

I figured it would be called "Rate My Oppressor."

Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody wang chub tonight.

More like may the foreskin be with you, amirite?

You are overreacting. Sheesh.

Maybe he had just read Eats, Shoots & Leaves.

I wonder how they're going to raise the funds. They don't seem like the bake sale type.

Too bad Nolan Ryan wasn't umpiring.

Am I the only one who had Hannibal Lecter come to mind?