Actually, it is kind of nice. I hope the little tyke lives.

"Cool, an article about us! High five!!! High five. High five? Anyone?" - Tom Brady

Too bad they weren't Timexes, what with the whole takes a licking and keeps on ticking thing.

Good frickin' grief. Sorry to hear that. Check your city ordinances and hope that the neighbors are in violation.

The trouble is that the balloon inflates nicely, but deflates after only 2 minutes.

I bet he used Cockstarter or Scrotfundme.

Argh. This is the trivialization of a serious topic. Abortions should be legal, but rare.

"Are you ready to roast!" -Dio

"I see nothing wrong with these ads." -Charlton Heston

As one who works from home, I can tell you that unsupervised dogs tend to be very barky and irritating.

I read this as 90,000 pounds of chicken taint. Ew.

Snuck 'em in through the back door.

All hail The Onion!

Billy Hamilton IS that fast.

Baby got back (to school).

The correct answer is: it feels pretty dang great.

Boston or Philly? Bud Selig says it's a tie.

Five minutes? I can judge them in less than two.

Hell, *I* would monetize my farts if I could.