Argh. This is the trivialization of a serious topic. Abortions should be legal, but rare.

"Are you ready to roast!" -Dio

"I see nothing wrong with these ads." -Charlton Heston

As one who works from home, I can tell you that unsupervised dogs tend to be very barky and irritating.

I read this as 90,000 pounds of chicken taint. Ew.

Snuck 'em in through the back door.

All hail The Onion!

Billy Hamilton IS that fast.

Baby got back (to school).

The correct answer is: it feels pretty dang great.

Boston or Philly? Bud Selig says it's a tie.

Five minutes? I can judge them in less than two.

Hell, *I* would monetize my farts if I could.

Knock knock?

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

Paging Daniel Snyder!

Is this related to the tweet beat?

Bangkok, Oriental city.

Wang pulls out. Does not consummate deal.