This is my all time favorite Palin moment. No one can ruin that for me.

Kind of a soft screeching or mild caterwauling?

I‘m really naive, so tell me that’s fake.

It’s rich people trading money with each other. I mean, it would be nice if some of these rich assholes did something good with their money, but nothing really happened here.

“I’m out after that. I’m gonna go pick pecans and I’m goin’ fishin’ for here on out”

“Paul was attacked while he was mowing his lawn at his home in Bowling Green, Kentucky, around 3:20 p.m.”

That would definitely help to lessen its vomit like appearance.

Cast iron pans are a scam. I know everyone misses their grandmothers’ cooking, but get over it. If your grandmother had ever had a nonstick skillet, she would have thrown out the cast iron, too.

Maybe his husband got it from someone else?

I don’t know anyone who uses condoms for oral sex, and all those other STIs can be transmitted orally or even, in the case or some STIs, through skin to skin contact.

Mathematically and constitutionally not gonna happen.

I’m willing to give up my right to vote if it cancels out 25 shitbags who also lose their rights to vote. ( I live in Texas, and my dad voted for George Wallace. For all you youngs, goggle him).

...and Mr. President, can I suck your dick harder than all the other blowboys in this room? For God has granted my with such suction powers, more than any other ass licker before me. Let me get down on my knees now, and blow you.

You know who has a firm hand shake? Susan Lucci.

As a white guy in his 50's, I don’t think I’d ever fist bumped anyone until I started a new job about five years ago. It’s constant fist bumping (or maybe high fives). Some people shake my hand, probably because they think it feels weird to fist bump someone who reminds them of their parents.

It’s Bjork. Sorry to disappoint everyone.

“she was eventually blackballed”

In all fairness, his son is kinda hot.

If your kid wants you to go, and you want to go, then GO!

Except that Gaston Gaudio was unseeded when he won the French in 2004.