Daughter of dairy farmer had humongous udders...yep, that checks out.

God have mercy on the announcers who have to say those names. Wow.

“....the husband just wants room to turn and groan and jostle his nuts.”

From now on, the prison guards will have to use man to man coverage.

I pray my team leaves him alone. He is shit personified. He’s never won anything in the NBA and never will. Take that to the bank motherfuckers!

those doors will have real locks by tomorrow

Does he say, “sworn to defend a cavalier’s taint?” That can’t be right, but I swear he says it.