The Sixers are the opposite of Christy Brown.

When did they start installing turf in migrant children’s detention centers?

Real bowling (15/16 pound ball, 300+ RPM, up to 20MPH) fucking hurts. By the time I got to college, I could barely ever do it because the pain got too intense. And if you’re not sweating, you’re not doing it right.

YES. I used to be able to handle 2 or 3 8-game blocks in a day; now, the rule is that the pain gets to be too much after 3 games, and my body hurts for 3 damn weeks.

The secret spice is actually white pepper.

Oh, there are many more- Stephen Glass, Steve Wynn, and plenty of others not names Steve. 

Hurrah for the red and the blue, but fuck the orange.

The Mets only trade for shitty prospects; sorry

And yet, that would still improve the Mets’ bullpen.

Pointlessly?

Labat blew

Yes. This is part of a series of photos, with the others confirming that those are indeed disco wangs. 

It is objectively cruel to use the “throw cold water on” phrase on a day like this.

I know division play doesn’t really matter anymore, but you’d think the Southeast would’ve shown some interest in cousins.

[read in Ron Howard’s voice]

C’mon, you know ol’ Tony’s good for it 

I heard he eventually scored in hoppage time.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin love Eden Hazard so much they named their daughter after him

I hope you meant “read” in the past tense, because the present tense sounds like Hell.

“HEY!”