Soon after Jerry started his crimes, Joe Pa was shown a daguerreotype of the abuse, and he brushed it aside to prepare for the next game. 

Sir, this is an article about Jalen Ramsey. Didn’t you read the headline?

It’ll only be sad when he starts facing consequences and stops getting lighthearted TV appearances.

You’re right, but we live in a society where missing quarterly earnings per share by a penny makes investors set their hair on fire, so logic and facts aren’t exactly valued.

You get what you pay for.

“But the Cardinals, to their credit, made a run at it. They weathered an electric start from Corbin, who struck out 10 batters in the first three innings...”

I disagree with your analogy- trepanation is actually useful.

“My first pick 6 in high school was foiled by an offensive lineman running me down.”

Excellent novel. Would read again

And Tyrion!

The Mets acquiring Mookie Betts only for him to turn into Mookie Wilson would be pretty on-brand for a Mets acquisition.

Yes, but it doesn’t matter. Want to pretend AB was the difference and cut the margin in half? Sure, why not.

They actually won two fucking games without him, and in the one they did play, I don’t think Brown’s 4 catches for 56 yards and a TD were exactly the deciding factors in a 43-0 win.

As you leave, you will feel many things- shock, wonder, regret at all the wasted years. But “sorry” won’t be one of them. Bon appetit!

There is one- and only one- way to fuck up a visit to New Orleans: not going to Willie Mae’s Scotch House.

That reminds me- pretty much everyone in the “Terry Tate” commercials was named after a sex act. 

“It’s so easy for us to blame and shame because everyone has a voice now”

I’ll just take my ass to John’s Roast Pork then.

+/-

Earlier this week Andrew Yang bought a chicken cheesesteak from the Jersey Mike’s in 30th Street Station. He’s dead to me.