I told my wife that when this happens, to celebrate she can watch any 30 minute program on TV!

You, my friend, must embody the very essence of handsomeness itself.

I totally didn't mention the ponies, in my first post. At times, I will just be standing around and wondering if what was really worth voting for Obama, when I could be on a pony. To be honest, I have never been able to be honest enough with myself to get an answer I can be comfortable with. I love ponies and often…

I just like how Mitt is going to create 12 billion jobs on the first day of office and stick it to China. He is SO great.

"Crowley arguably overstepped her expected role as moderator with her live Libya fact check of Romney."

Only to engage in this most momentous occasion for plus size women everywhere!

Reminds me of the Memphis bus boycott.

Wow, I am weeping. This must have taken so much courage on behalf of that behemoth model and Vogue. Today is certainly a victory for women. You, too, can morbidly obese and objectified!

I wish they had mythbusted "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?"

"For instance," Santorum continued, "Last weekend, I had to kill my mother-in-law, whom I loved dearly. But just as Abraham raised his blade against Isaac, when God tells you to do something, it must be done. I was driving with my mother-in-law outside of Pittsburgh. We were listening to a religious lecture on CD. …

It's in our genes.

Shucks, thanks!

As a man, I hunt and kill all of my own chocolate. I just got back from a three week trip in Africa, where I bagged three chocolate antelope and two chocolate tigers. My wife says "Ewwww", get that nasty chocolate out of here, and I can understand the little lady. Skinning, gutting, and preparing chocolate is nasty…

His source was "Deepthroat", or to his friends, Larry Craig.

Spoiler alert: He drives it right off a cliff.

I am writing a novel a la Dan Brown. It is based on the discovery of the pre-nup signed by Jesus and Mary Magdelan. Gonna be some mind blowing shit in it.

This would also seem to help support those that theorize Jesus voluntarily died on the cross.

If that woman loves black children so much, how come she only has 13?

Man, the comment disappeared. Do they actually remove trolls at Jezebel? I just might start commenting.

And risk death as a thin person?