Russell Westbrook: “I don’t give a fuck about the line.”

Hernandez learned everything he knew about the Bible from Tim Tebow, which explains why his understanding of it was incomplete.

In the last 24 hours, the Celtics went down 0-2 to a laughable Bulls team, Aaron Hernandez committed suicide, and Gronk yukked it up with a propaganda minister nobody respects.

Just as well. Guy thrives in isolation.

This is the same shit Peyton did when he tried to sell his worn uniforms.

Sanchez told the Daily News that she and her daughter were Reyes’ “road family,”

Fleury’s got a no-movement clause that requires the Pens to protect him in the expansion draft–unless he chooses to waive it. Since Pittsburgh can’t protect both goalies, Fleury’s definitely getting trading unless he agrees to waive that NMC.

Counterpoint: Fuck the Pens.

This was a really special team. They were sitting at 11 and goddamn 30 with no hope of a turnaround and every excuse to quit, in a league that has gotten to the point where tanking on one end and resting players on the other is encouraged. The NBA landscape is ripe for teams to give up individual games and entire…

I think the overall theme is “pointlessly”.

“The world sees her as this glamorous, sophisticated, jet-setting woman,

“That’s the major problem with white boys. Wide feet. Can’t run.”

That link did not make it clear to me in the least what the C-word was, so I’m forced to think it’s the dirtiest C-word I know:

Bush’s people were as loyal as Reagan’s, and willing to fall on their swords for the man.

Pontius Pilate was better at hammering.

Closets usually don’t lock on the inside. So you would actually have to have someone lock you in the closet and then have said person come back to let you out when you’re finished crying. What if they have an emergency or want to have their own cry when you’re in there? Then you have to either wait for them to come…

I reacted the same way during my presser after my last slo-pitch softball season, except instead of a reporter asking about my noble effort after a heartbreaking defeat, it was basically the drunken wife of one of my teammates spitting nacho bits in my face as she slurrily demanded to know how the fuck I managed to…

That puts him past the aforementioned Jordan (whose best night was 69)

Trump has “perfect genes” but unfortunately he’s unable to fit his fat ass into a par of jeans.

Let us all rejoice, but do not forget this bill failed, in large part, because IT WASN’T CRUEL ENOUGH to suit the needs of the far-right Freedumb Caucus nutjobs.