It’s probably LaVar Ball you idiot

Multiple pairs of $58 sweatshorts? Thanks for the fashion tip, Mr. Rockefeller.

“and don’t marry the help”

Teenagers are dumb. If you really want them drinking water just tell them “It’ll make your dick huge.” They’ll drink gallons of the stuff.

It is no exaggeration to say that the green-eyed tabby (Sugar, aka Boogie) and that dog (Maggie aka Maggie-moo aka possibly the dumbest dog I’ve ever known) love one another:

I agree. We to need to nomar about this.

I’ve seen teams take shot-clock violations; I’ve seen the Wizards themselves do it a handful of times. It’s fine! It’s even kind of admirable, I suppose.

“Nice form!”

Drugs can be a difficult habit to kick so we understand why he hasn’t sought your advice.

And in a move so tone deaf I actually screamed out loud, the new Republican proposal gives insurance company executives a tax break on salaries over $500,000.

this is a false yellow flag operation perpetrated by known trump-supporter tom brady in an attempt to enrage the patriot’s rabid fanbase into supporting the mexican border wall.

To be fair, most high school kids celebrate prematurely the second it goes in.

Which, of course, means that Westbrook is singlehandedly robbing OKC of the chance of grabbing a top-3 pick in a loaded draft, which could go far to mitigate the loss of Kevin Durant a year ago. Has any player done more to cripple the next decade of his team’s development this year than RW? I think not. MVP? …

“No one’s neck is an incredibly thick as Gaston’s!”

Ben Carson used to confuse the fuck out of me. Then I saw ‘Get Out’, and NOW he makes sense.

Yes. Minor league ball is one of the great pleasures of the world. Cheap tickets, good weather, wonderful atmosphere, and the strange magic of ballparks that can either be top-tier new stadiums or decrepit, aging messes. I love the big leagues, as far as what I follow, but I’ll become a faithful follower of any nearby…

We’ve got a really nice stadium here for the Norfolk Tides. I got to see Mo Vaughn play there some many years ago when he was doing a rehab stint. Because most of the seats are good, I can state definitively that that guy can fill a doorway.

It is definitively a better time for parents with younger kids. Fun stuff between innings, laid back fans, and better prices.

it seems like it offers the things I like most about live baseball: Sitting outside in nice weather, eating and drinking, and just absorbing the entire sensory experience—the smells, the sounds—without necessarily caring that much about who wins or loses, or even who plays.