THIS.

Well said!

I assume this is going to be a pizza that I’ll have to assemble myself and I’ll have a bag of random toppings left over at the end.

Fuck off with this bullshit.

My first thought when I heard of lunging vegans:

An argument between two vegans is not called a beef. It’s just two people with bad tempehs.

Being vegan is a big missed steak. 

Community college presidents are NOT to be messed with. She will set you straight -- and charge a very reasonable tuition while she does it. 

Do yourself a favor and try both the next time you fry chicken. Cook it in peanut oil and you might wake up the neighbors with that crunch.

You ignored the other, equally important part of the equation. You don’t need to over-deliver if you under-promise in the first place. I learned that from Scotty and Geordi in Star Trek. Never tell the captain how long it will actually take to fix the problem; you’ll lose your status as a miracle worker.

You would think both of those would be overkill.  But maybe breading the chicken before battering leads to a superior crunch? 

Gambling that 5 cups of bread crumbs and 3 cans of clams is going to sit well all night

This slideshow format needs to die in a fire.

This slideshow format can suck an ass potato. Fuck this herbaceous nonsense! #deathtoKinja

I CLICKED TEN TIMES JUST TO AGREE WITH YOU AND SKIPPED READING ANY OF IT.

THIS LAYOUT IS CRAP.

I see you work in law enforcement.

Ronald? Is that you?

I mean, you’re not wrong, but walking onto stage in front of your investors with a rifle while the Old Yeller theme plays probably isn’t going to sell.

HI-c orange at McDonald's.