Do yourself a favor and try both the next time you fry chicken. Cook it in peanut oil and you might wake up the neighbors with that crunch.

You ignored the other, equally important part of the equation. You don’t need to over-deliver if you under-promise in the first place. I learned that from Scotty and Geordi in Star Trek. Never tell the captain how long it will actually take to fix the problem; you’ll lose your status as a miracle worker.

You would think both of those would be overkill.  But maybe breading the chicken before battering leads to a superior crunch? 

Gambling that 5 cups of bread crumbs and 3 cans of clams is going to sit well all night

This slideshow format needs to die in a fire.

This slideshow format can suck an ass potato. Fuck this herbaceous nonsense! #deathtoKinja

I CLICKED TEN TIMES JUST TO AGREE WITH YOU AND SKIPPED READING ANY OF IT.

THIS LAYOUT IS CRAP.

I see you work in law enforcement.

Ronald? Is that you?

I mean, you’re not wrong, but walking onto stage in front of your investors with a rifle while the Old Yeller theme plays probably isn’t going to sell.

HI-c orange at McDonald's. 

I read through all of the comments and did not find a single request for fried apple pies at McDonald’s.

“carne asada” is an Aztec term that translates to “make your own fucking fajitas, gringo”

That Willie Nelson Peach Cobbler ice cream Ben & Jerry’s stopped making. Please.

don’t put that evil on your wedding.

You missed a chance to say “Stick to sprouts!”

“1) Maybe someone will bring her a hot pocket with a saw blade in it.”

If I’m sitting on a multi billion dollar fortune, I don’t care if it came from selling rubber dogshit. Let alone microwave pasties.

Unfortunately, she’s gonna have to get used to unsolicited commentary if she’s on the beach volleyball team.