It really is not great. 

Peter will keep the scar. It’s the most memorable thing about him. Without the scar he’s at risk of just disappearing from reality, slowing fading into the background and memories of all those around him.

And you’re one of my commentor crushes. A commentor that’s obviously been spying on our editorial meetings!

Ugh. FINE. I’LL DO IT. 

here I thought it was the spice, but clearly it’s actually “he who controls the data, controls the universe.”

Am I the only one who thinks “birthday cake flavor” sucks? Even in the form of a birthday cake? Overly sweet with vaguely vanilla-like notes? When my office birthday roles around I pull a Creed Bratton and ask for a pie.

“Breathe”

I lived less than a block from a Subway for more than five years, and in all that time I ate there once. I remember regretting the decision; the Subway shop closed last year and I don’t think anyone misses it.

Sald.  It’s like malk, but for vegetables.

Part of the problem may be the McDonalds never closes.

Some years ago in a (successful) attempt at weight loss, I worked with a trainer who told me no cheese, no peanut butter, no avocado. Cheese was the only one I ate with any regularity (it’s not like it was RARE for me to eat the other two, but they just weren’t daily staples), but I was honestly surprised by how…

Gender is completely 100% binary. You do or do not have an X chromosome. Preferences - who you choose to love, how you act, how you dress, who you hang out with - those are not the same thing as gender. Please stop conflating those things.

Not that anybody cares what I think but I have no problem with letting your kids “live their truth”. I have a 3 year old daughter who is very much a tomboy and constantly wants to be the “boy” when she’s playing with her sister (who is the total opposite and super prissy, btw).

That's how you end up with a suicidal child. 

My 9 year old wants to be a unicorn.  She says it’s her truth.  Should I let her?

Likely story. Jason - and all of Jalopnik - has been in the pocket of Big Otter Jizz for years now.

Considering that breast milk, cow milk, goat milk, almond milk, soy milk, and oat milk all have the naming convention where the first word is the source of the milk, we already should have been horrified the first time we heard the phrase “toddler milk.”

liverwurst, chopped onion, creamy pickled herring,

I wonder if the whole “the rich aren’t so different from us” message might be true in a way they didn’t intend, which is that we could be just as greedy and oblivious if given the opportunity.