Really? What do you think of Red Lobster biscuits? They are amazing.

All right guys. Brace yourselves. The truth is, Hank dyed.

Ospina will be a fine replacem——gaaah I can’t even.

In all fairness, Crunchwrap Porchswings isn’t the first person to get fucked by something backed by Delta.

Poor Zingis.

I want to know who is putting on underwear to go to sleep?!

If I shower at night, it’s a pair of athletic shorts and no underwear and I’m usually not even sleeping in those!

*This is different if I have to leave the house, but if it’s at “night” I’m operating under the assummption that it’s to hang on the couch and then…

I thought ‘retiring a hack sportswriter to Italy’ was the same as ‘sending Fido to a lovely farm upstate’. Disappointed to discover that I’m wrong.

If Miller’s teams keep losing to unranked opponents, the only thing that’s going to hit a fan is shit.

That’s got to be the best goal ever scored in that club’s 45 minute long history.

“Slinger with a one-point lead at the buzzer”. Is there a more awkward way of phrasing this? Will the lead at the buzzer hold up? Is there a 5th quarter in Wisconsin basketball?

Coach: If you get the rebound, I want you to heave it up real quick once. I think we got this in the bayg.

What if you discover that the goat is your true love?

At least one.

It’s fitting that he’s paying homage to Scott Stevens on Christmas tree jersey night.

Hey Nathan, while you’re here could you look over our financials? Things aren’t going so well..

Not to be outdone, Adrian Peterson declared his love for Ipswich Town.

Being wrong and lacking facts /=\ Having a life.