Kids are great and pretty easy once you get the hang of it. The trick is to say no to literally everything. They’ll think they won the lottery whenever you say yes to anything, and the teachers will love them because nobody says no to their little darlings anymore.

Yeah, but if my daughter was doing drugs at a house where an adult is present I might take a hammer to him. (And I like drugs)

Dick Bong was killed testing an early fighter jet. The fuel pump failed on take-off and Bong attempted to use the primitive ejector-seat. Unlike modern ones, the early ejector seat was not designed to be used at low levels, and Bong did not gain enough altitude for his parachute to open. He was killed on impact. Dick…

I think I speak for many when I say - who the fuck is Jack Michaels.

I thought the last 10 months would have been sufficient warning about the dangers of replacing a competent black man with an inexperienced and unqualified white guy, but here we are again.

To answer the question posted by the headline, “flushing my career down the toilet because I’m a moron.”

Here’s hoping that every pet owner who tries to dress up their pets meets the same fate as GamerCat’s owner. ¬_¬

PC load-letter... What the fuck does that mean?

I feel terrible for the Yankees seeing as they would never stoop to winning through such shenanigans Just kidding, eat all the dicks

-Signed, An Orioles fan

Hurricanes: 3, United States: 0.

They don’t sell them at Costco?

Come on Burke, you’re from up here. That was a low blow.

I see you shiver with antici

The burrito is the ultimate sandwich. Tortillas have more surface area than other weak and inferior pieces of bread, so you can pack a lot more stuff in there. Plus, there’s less chance of everything falling out if they’re wrapped properly. Plus adding hot sauce with every bite is the best thing ever. The burrito is…

I don’t care what anyone says. A hotdog IS a sandwich.

This is fantastic. Have a cookie:

“No surprise that Mystic won, though: they are the biggest best team, after all.”

I wonder if KatyPerrysBootyHole will drop some knowledge to keep us up to date.