Well, at the risk of getting Kinja-banned for self promotion, feel free to check me out:

I make a bunch of different variations on pepper jellies and sell them at local fairs. The best ones I’ve made for meat glazes are an Apple Pie Habanero, and a Pineapple/Coconut Habanero.

So that’s where Jonas Gray disappeared to? I just assumed Belichick had him garrotted by Dante Scarnecchia after he showed up on the cover of Sports Illustrated

“the greatest pitcher of his generation had come apart in the playoffs yet again”

“Hernandez then went on to explain that Ellison opted against killing him and stole hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry instead, including a $95,000 My Little Pony necklace.”

“More High School Girls Are Playing Tackle Football Than Ever”

Almost?

Understood.

“I’d like to do the physics on it”

Never realized Jar-Jar Binks was Italian...

“This trade is a punt for the Marlins and a deep throw down the field by the Phillies. One of those things is a hell of a lot more fun than the other.”

Well, allow me to submit my own (literally) suggestion...

Well, allow me to submit my own (literally) suggestion...

“I liked Green Day before they went mainstream”

So... Hulu is launching a House of Cards spinoff?

Listen Chris, you can’t just go from an offense designed around Alex Smith to suddenly inserting a guy like Colin Kaepernick in there and expect to get good results. It’s just not possible to replace a talent like Alex Smith with an unknown quantity like Colin Kaepernick and magically have the team become competitive,…

Lookee just like Marcus Lattimore’s knee explosion...

Ahem... that’s “Ultimate Keyboard Warrior” to you.

I can’t even express how much I want this to become a modern day Tyson/Douglas... 

Once booked a flight from Boston to Vegas through DC.

Well.  Now I demand Deadspin publish a Facebook video series that is a “Tasty” knockoff, featuring Drew explaining how to cook stuff.