The puck “happened” to hit his stick because he made several observations and split-second calculations in order to ensure that his stick was where the shooter was going to put the puck. He noticed the release point, hand position, and angle of the blade (all things that goalies look at), and he made his move. By your…

How have we not burned this campus down, salted the ashes, burned those ashes, and then shot the resulting ashes into the sun? Because, to me, that seems like the only reasonable response to what is going on in East Lansing.

(I live about an hour away...I’ll bring the matches.)

Has anyone checked on Billy? Because he strikes me as the type of fella that won’t respond well to his one claim to fame being stripped away.

One of the best pages in a comic book ever.

Who let this clown out of the grays? BE GONE, PURVEYOR OF MISOGYNISTIC FUCKERY!

I cut 97.1 out of my life about three years ago, and aside from occasionally thinking it would be fun to have a drink with Gator, I don’t miss it. 

CAMPUS POLIICE took the report. Ergo...(Latin)...it happened on campus. But yeah, sure...in the spirit of the Olympics, perform some mental gymnastics to explain how this doesn’t have anything to do with the culture of sweeping this shit under the rug at Michigan State.

“24-year-old cop”

My family’s policy has always been: you can keep your first foul ball, but any subsequent balls you may catch go to nearby kids. Same for home runs, but you can keep it if it has subjective significance. (i.e. Your favorite player hit it, it was a walk-off, it was a playoff game, etc.)

Wee Willie Keeler said “Hit ‘em where they ain’t.” Last time I checked, “they” weren’t in the stands.

Demon’s Souls remaster for the PS4 or GTFO.

I’m up for re-enlistment in 13 months, and I’m almost 100% certain that I won’t be re-upping. Prior to his election, I was strongly considering re-enlistment; now I’m hoping to wait his temper out for the next year and change.

“The 50 largest foundations in this country each have assets of more than $1.8 billion”

Their fans are fine in the venue...it’s the PARKING LOT where they show their true colors. I also worked security for a venue; Phish was my first and last show. We couldn’t leave until they cleared the lot. This venue (DTE Energy Music Theater) is a huge amphitheatre nestled into a residential area. As such, there’s…

“Christmas tree conglomerate”

Cue the MRA’s defense of Mixon in 3, 2, 1...

I’m remarkably regular right now, but I attribute that to being four weeks into a creatine cycle. Like many folks who use the magic powder that is creatine monohydrate, I routinely experience bowel movements that can only be described as “alarming” and “schedule-altering.”

Pile of discarded foreskins that magically gained sentience.

Look at Herbie sprinting up Mount Hot Take!

And yet the Penn State linebacker was ejected for having the audacity to attempt an interception.