Alex Jones

You’ve entered the Unemployment Zone.

Just see what he does with his allies.

Exactly, Trump supporters are glad that Hillary is vacationing in Benghazi right now while reading her e-mails.

As I mentioned many times before, those blue-collar folks from Youngstown, OH will sleep better knowing that Ivanka Trump’s brand is doing well in China. Those unicorn manufacturing jobs are well on their way thanks to this trademark deal.

My “relations” with things will NOT be questioned.

I want to see the woman who goes out on a date with this jabroni. Or has “relations”. She might need an intervention.

No J.J. Abrams lens flairs, I’m in.

Some teenagers in Macedonia wrote that article as propaganda to sway the next election.

Knowing his tastes, the staff probably just cut up an Entenmann’s chocolate cake and put some fancy raspberry swirl patterns on it.

I was truly disappointed that Manchester by the Sea wasn’t a documentary about the early days of The Smiths. It would have been way better if it was that and not about mopey white people ... wait a second.

They should really hold the draft at Pat’s Steaks, because every NFL broadcast has to show a clip from there when they come back from the commercial break.

In my alternative universe, President Hillary Clinton, daughter Chelsea, husband Marc, their kids have a great time laughing with kids while Trump tweets, “Crooked Hillary wasting tax payer money on stupid tradition. Why isn’t she being investigated for her e-mails? SAD!”

What gets me is that it’s an 80-minute flight from Chicago to Louisville that costs $220, that’s about a 4 hour, 30 minute drive. And they were offering $1,000 and other perks. Nobody else took the offer? And nobody at United thought about getting an Uber/car service as part of the offer. You’d probably get home…

I’m pretty sure there’s a tally in the White House that says, 81 Days and No Pussies Were Grabbed*

Something is very wrong with all FOX NEWS properties. I caught a little Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace and they had cut to a reporter from Mar-a-Lago and she was wearing a pretty revealing and form fitting top. I’m like, “Okay, I look boobies, but not with my Sunday morning political shows talking dead Syrians.”

Sort of like the first scene in Until the Devil Knows Your Dead.

Bannon looks like a guy who bets on the Special Olympics

Steve Bannon looks like the guy who begs to be killed just before he turns into a zombie. Kushner looks like the kid in high school who started one out of every four sentences with “My father...”

DJ Khalid reminds me of those MTV VJs who were famous for a hot minute then quickly forgotten about, like Jesse Camp or the asshole from Real World San Francisco.