Goddammit. You were getting my hopes up. I’ll grasp onto any sliver of hope at this point.

Blah blah blah playoffs suck, blah blah blah.

Mike Ashley would like a word.

Yep. Introduce promotion/relegation next season into MLS and it would be dead within five years. Every rich guy investor, upon which the league depends, would divest quicker than you can say “OMG Real Salt Lake is such a stupid name!”

Weird that they never cover Mexican soccer*, which is more popular than MLS in the United States, and is a league which also has playoffs.

You really think Roma will finish within 10 points of Juve? I’d do somersaults if that happened, if I could do somersaults.

In a few years New York will have 9 stadiums/arenas that have been home to teams in one of the Big Four leagues connected connected to mass transit.

Then we started to feel more and more of the affects of the recession with businesses closing up shop.

They should also build an arena where we can watch flying monkeys attack little girls in ruby slippers, but I have a feeling we’ll both be disappointed.

Where’s the parking lot? Or are they going to helicopter in a few thousand midwesterners? And, yes, I am ashamed that I used helicopter as a verb.

Problem is that USAG declared bankruptcy, so by the rules of something or other its decertification process was automatically paused. Which is insanity. Declaring bankruptcy should mean automatic decertification, but instead it essentially it means you get to wait around until (hopefully, from their POV,) eventually…

All I got from this is that you hate bikinis. Shame on you.

And the teen probably had a tan, it being summer, so the attacker understandably thought he was Mexican.

Much like Abe Lincoln assassination jokes -- too soon!

So you’re saying Isner broke someone’s serve?

Counterpoint to goalies being assholes: The best goalkeepers in recent years aren’t screamy sweary assholes. Buffon: not an asshole. Alisson, De Gea, Oblak, Neuer, ter Stegen, Szczęsny (yes, he’s one of the best,) Čech: not assholes.

The real news here (for non-baseball knowers) is that Felix Pie’s surname isn’t pronounced like pie the food.

They don’t have ads on their site.

Nazr Mohammed

Ah, so you’re not Catholic.