The slashfic writes itself.

All this talk about hard places and back channels isn’t helping the notion that Trump really, really wants to fuck his daughter.

You forgot Sean Doolittle, who is the very best of the Nationals. Doo is the best. He had the guts to state publicly why he wasn’t going. And he and his wife walk the walk and talk the talk in community activism. They hosted Thanksgiving dinner for Syrian refugees and got the community involved, when he was with…

You grossly underestimate the effectiveness of mashing food into your face that shouldn’t fit. If you do it right, it’s like the world’s most unwatchable case of capillary action.

Jim Spanfeller is so fragile he can’t stand someone calling him an herb. Also, Jim Spanfeller is an herb.

Some people say that Jim Spanfeller licks his own butt. He does, no question about it. But the point I’d like to make is that Jim Spanfeller licks his own butt so much that it’s really only remarkable when he isn’t licking his own butt, which is never. Jim Spanfeller licks his own butt. Then, now, always.

A 30,000 purse? Buy her a new one and put her head in it.

I wonder where she had her bag. If it was on the table, it’s reasonable to expect that it might get some food or drink on it. If an item is damaged by a waiter, it’s not unreasonable to expect them to make it right, but when you have an item that costs as much as a car on the table, it is unreasonable. Part of that is…

Its totally hit and miss where they are and are not disabled.

Almost as if someone that doesn’t know how the platform works is frantically trying to turn shit off because people keep calling Spanfeller a sheep fucker.

And he’s big mad about it. I mean, I would be too if I was trying to keep my sheep fucking a secret…

No, you need money overseas when all these financial bubbles burst within the next 10 years. This is a Public Service announcement. You’re welcome.

“ That keeps the cereal moist AND gives you extra Cocoa Puffs milk as an aperitif.”

Jim Spanfeller took 18 flights with Jeffrey Epstein. 

If this truly is the final Funbag, then I’m going to start doing heroin to take the edge off.

“My girlfriend loads knives into the dishwasher with the blades up.”

True story: a friend of our family had a steak knife point up in the dishwasher, door open, bottom rack pulled out.

Their kids were being kids, running around, and the six year old fell on that knife. It punctured her heart and she damn near died.

That’…

Further proof of the deterioration of this site:

And yet the 1% and corporations get away with hiding money all the time. Why? They have money so the government looks the other way. If I tried to hide $100 in an offshore account, I would be busted and chucked in jail as an example of the system “working”.

I just wanted to add that Sambuca & Black Sambuca Really good! 

You guys should link to all the old Foodspin articles, today. And also bring Drew’s adventures with wagyu back to the top. 

I mean the offer a barely passable regular burrito and people seem to love them. I’m sure they could mediocre their way to a breakfast burrito.

Then perhaps the HR should be trained to do their jobs better? Just a thought there...why isn’t this stuff taught to them? Falling back “they don’t know any better” shows incompetence in the entire department.