That’s what they want you to think. The real reason is that the half man/half goat products of their NextGen baseball breeding program kept eating the playing field. But you won’t find that in any official company literature.

Well, seeing that smug fuck go to prison has to rate pretty highly.

I can put you in touch with a Juventus fan and you two can commisserate!

Klopp altered his approach substantially last season. They did the high press sometimes, but usually opted for controlling games rather than making it 90 minutes of chaos as in 2017-18.

So any future scandal will surely be met with “Hey ho, we’re bankrupt.” Then when the heat dissipates, they’ll suddenly be not bankrupt. Easy peasy.

National Governing Body

I’m wholly on board the Chicago Arnold Rothsteins train.

You people these days don’t read anything. Or can’t read. Probably both.

Don’t be so down on your team. You had Dan Fouts and Kellen Winslow Sr. and that Dolphins game which was unbelievably epic. There’s probably more I’m forgetting. Second thought, there probably isn’t, but you had the 80s.

+1 boycott

He’s definitely not Walking to New Orleans now.

Imagine a world run by people who know how to properly employ verb tenses.

Eh, why should the Rangers bother trying. The city practically gave them a new stadium, I presume they’re raking in cash via TV, so fuck it. Winning won’t give them much more money. Why bother?

When asked for comment, Dick Nixon reportedly said, “you don’t have Gary to kick around any more, because, gentlemen, this was his last Applebees meal.” 

Wait until you’re an older parent. You’ll be desperate to find a crowded wave pool in which to deposit your kid.

At least we there’s a bit more of a reaction during fire drills...

He was just starting to get over the trauma. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

I don’t know. That kind of violates the rules of journalism.

Don’t apologize. We are, in fact, sharing uninteresting news. I’m typing naked on my back porch. Soon I’ll cool off in my pool. Gotta smoke a cigarette first.