Babies are dumb.

Did you make fun of Skittles? They really hate it when you make fun of Skittles.

I was a comments board virgin when I came here. Disqus is the only thing I know and I hate change, but I certainly don’t plan on doing any more work during the day. I guess I’ll give it a try.

There's bad people on many sides.

These questions, and many others will be answered in the next episode of…Soap.

Like school in summertime.

Don’t go! It’ll be horrible, but it will still be better than doing actual work.

Walmart has a pack of Bar S hotdogs for 50 cents. If hotdogs are lips and assholes, then I'm guessing the 50 cent hotdogs are MOSTLY assholes.

I'm taking my upvotes, and I'm going home!!!

Say what now?

"You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect."

That was Can You Dig It? by Georgie Wood, and now we'd like to do Hark, the Angels Come.

Remember the episode of Gentle Ben where Ben ripped Clint Howard’s arm off? Good times, good times.

Walmart. After work. Entire box.

"Pass me another hunk of co-pilot."

Thanks assholes, now I want a Moonpie.

Anyone else underwhelmed by the eclipse? It didn’t even get dark here.

I’m gonna wait and see before I throw my giant fit, but rest assured there will be a giant fit.

Surprised that Wind River was sold out all day Saturday at my local theater. I purchased the very last ticket to the matinee showing and had to sit by some tubby guy that couldn’t seem to catch his breath. I had to listen to 2 hours of Darth Vader.

Jesus, he looks like he's rotting from the inside out.