No way, people only leave Deadspin for great jobs, and we never wish them anything but the best.

This man took a game Americans didn’t care about and built an apartment for cats in Trump Tower. His legacy is gonna hold up just fine.

The Twitter check mark is white.

Not that I disagree with your overall point, but doesn’t the Jungle Book take place in the Indian jungle?

What a baby. In my church league nothing short of a compound fracture keeps the big fellas out. Hell, I’ve been playing on an STD for weeks. The real issue here is with the fortitude of these young men. Either pony up or saddle off chief. I pay far too much for cable for this nonsense and frankly I’ve had enough.

I’m really bored at work

Ironically, based on today’s gold prices, if David Griffin weighs 200 pounds, that would mean he’s worth $3,917,088 in gold, right around the league average for a GM.

Is that you, Progressive Liberal?

Wait, so when Jordan dunked from half court in Space Jam, did he get 3 points for that?? I don’t remember but I wanna say he got 2. PLOT HOLE.

This was a good one too.

From what little I know of the situation, the Croatian people are having it out with their federation. Corruption runs rampant there. This seems like a chance to catch one of the people considered responsible for the corruption, and the biggest star in the country is clamming up for reasons only he knows. Modrić…

It is the 21st century, and the method the TSA uses to transmit information is............

she’s either the smartest or dumbest player on the team.

Pardon me, but I believe it is the clear and unanimous viewpoint of Deadspin that Stevie Wonder can, in fact, see.

I would also add: “Don’t make the title of your bulleted list the first bullet in said list.”

When using bullet points, don’t bullet the heading. That’s another tip you should dispense.

Wait, didn’t you write a whole damn book about all the extraordinarily horrible things that can happen during the course of a walk?