I take it I missed my chance for an election-themed “See you next Tuesday”?

I wish we could just go back to the time when you had to climb a floating magnet mountain, sneak up behind a flying lizard horse, jump on it, wrap your hair penis around its hair penis so your brains could talk, and then become friends forever so you could defeat capitalism robots with your gigantic blue friends who…

I thought an undecided voter in this election was a white myth, like Larry Bird or Colorado.

The ceremony will be held in the parking lot so everyone will have to look the other way.