I giggled all the way through this, starting with "Become emotionally available." This is a pretty great list of things for people to do in general, tbh.

I don't remember spilling comestibles on myself nearly so often when I was young and thin.

My daughter did that once with a whole plate of cupcakes. And then denied doing it and she didn't know WHAT happened to the frosting. Also she was 13.

I will readily admit that if Scalia got drunk and fell asleep at the State of the Union I'd be like, "What a fucking piece of shit, can't even take his job seriously or show a basic level of respect to Obama, he should be shot." Whereas when Ruth does it, I'm like, "AS WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE, Ruthie, you national…

In addition to her being my sassy grandma, I would also like her to be my drinking buddy.

Because she is an unapologetic defender of women and other marginalized groups. She writes the best dissents to the ridiculous tomfoolery the conservative judges rule for, and she does it with style and class. As she gets older, it gets better and better, too.

More like Ruth BAEder Ginsburg.

She is the judicial embodiment of the women's rights movement in America. And one of the smartest, hardworking Americans to have ever lived.

Sure, when RBG is tipsy at a work function, she's "living her best life," but when I do it, I'm "on my second strike."

I vowed this year, just sparkling water, stay away from the wine, but in the end, the dinner was so delicious, it needed wine," Ginsburg said.

is there legal precedent for a Justice adopting an entire blog readership? I'm asking... For a friend...

What a baller thing to admit. Zero fucks given.

There will never be a post about notorious RBG where this picture is not appropriate.

BAHAHAHAHA! Fantastic. Yeah, I'd be thinking at least thrice before throwing an elbow at her US Majesty.

drinking game for SOTU next year?

Hippos kill more humans than any other animal in Africa! I think you know what that means:

start working on your heron costume.

Seriously. Have you ever seen what they can do to marbles when they're hungry? It's not pretty.

All hail Bird Jesus.

With all due respect, I think some anonymous Internet speculators might have a little more insight into his motivations than your boyfriend does.

Oh, god. Bless Tim and his delightful naughtiness!