“Hang on, let me pour this 64 ounce Coke into my lap. There. Ahhh, bliss.”

Everything is political. If you don’t see it, then you’re too comfortable.

Eat all the dicks, please.

So much fucking smoke. Eye on the ball. The question is fucking simple: when you were presented with the choice between Clinton or Trump what did you do? Did you whine like a little bitch and stay home crying with your Bernie bro friends on /r/sandersforpresident? Did you boldly make a statement and protest vote for…

Jew, reporting in! Guess who has two thumbs, a futon, and endless empathy for a refugee narrative? *this mensch*

People hate the Warriors because Draymond is a dick kicking asshole and their bandwagon tech-bro fanbase is annoying.

Did I miss it? Has Jezebel yet covered the news that Trump may be an *actual* Goldwater Republican?

The telling part is that Russia hacked both the RNC and the DNC. They only released the DNC information, which means they are blackmailing the Republicans to get their way. And as we all know Republican priorities are 1) themselves, 2) the party, and 3) the nation.

I think Gene Weingartner wrote a piece on how people who completely don’t mean to do so, leave their kids in the car.

I do get how people can do it (which was obviously not the case in this situation). When this happens, it’s not typically when they are taking a cross-country trip with their kids, it’s when they are going through the rote motions of their day. Have you ever gotten in your car to head to ____, but gotten halfway to a…

I’m glad that the law has finally stopped looking the other way with this bullshit.

Packers fan here. I went to the Week 2 game in Minnesota and made a sign. It read:

“It is not enough for you to be out of my house. I insist you also be miserable.”

I always go with a line from Saturday Night Live. Will Ferrell was portraying G.W Bush, Daryl Hammond was Al Gore.

Ashley, I know you probably take a lot of shit over your work here, so I wanted to tell you I have started to deliberately check Deadspin when something like this breaks, knowing that your article will both appropriately reinforce my horror and commiserate with it. You’re great. Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise…

nah

HIs film commentaries(this film, Casablanca, etc) are amazing and should be listened to by anyone who enjoys movies

Ridiculous story: I first watched this movie during MySpace’s heyday and I had “Incense & Peppermints” as the obnoxious song that would autoplay when you went to my page. John Lazar friended me because I listed the movie in my favorite movies. He would always wish me a happy birthday and this was before online…