Leave it up to the 1% to list "cooking" among the things they've always wanted to try. 

Only the stupidly rich would list "cooking" as something they've always wanted to try. 

Gwyneth needs to suck a rusty spike, because clearly nothing short of lockjaw is going to keep her from blabbing her idiot opinion. Tell her it’s good for her vagina or something, she’ll be all over it. Her and the pretentious ass in the bath can share it. I have zero chill for shit like this anymore.

And fat and ugly.

Meanwhile on Faux news: DeMs Be UsInG tHe ViRuS fOr PoLiTiCs (by, you know, pointing out the objectively shit job Drump is doing.)

Kind of like turning off the stove after the house has burned down but sure

Yall couldn't find a photo of gamestop from this decade?

Cirque du Shitkicking

Unless you work at Gamestop, of course.

Shaun of the dead came out 16 years ago. If it was a person it would be learning to drive.

Now see, obviously it sounds rediculous at first but then you’ve got to remember, they are giving away an exclusive two sided poster with Animal Crossing. So... there's that...

This writer is a fecal smear.

Yes that's the joke.

I’m envisioning a Home Alone party style string and pulley system.

I genuinely hope for your sake karma isn’t a real thing.

Or too deep into their real personality and forget to be a decent human being.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, there is no pretending to be an asshole. You are just an asshole. It was not a poor reflection of your character, it was an accurate one. 

Having never heard of this person before... kinda sounds like a real piece of shit, huh?

You were wrong, and a jerk about it, I accurately pointed that out, and you have proceeded to absolutely lose your mind to the point of genuinly wishing harm on another human being. If anyone needs to step away from the internet it’s clearly you. If that isn’t just another lie, you aren’t going to reply because you…

Ah, I see we have reached the stage where you have realized you were wrong, are too immature to admit it, and baring any actual logical arguments to any, much less all, of those valid points I made have been reduced to childish ad hominem. I’m afraid there is no insult you could toss out that would make me objectively…