All the stars in the heaven, if I could. I needed this today. I can’t remember one moment in my life I didn’t feel fat, ugly, or stupid. At 40, I both yearn for an invisibility granted to women past a “certain age” and fear it. I’ve never been pretty or thin and the thought that I completely missed a window of “hot”…

Bad boyfriends and maudlin, immersive reimagining marked 15-30. I think that Shryne.com would have made me a crazy ass stalker agoraphobic who smelled like regret and needed to be forcibly removed from the couch and my ass groove formed by cheetos, tequila, and tears.

Gambit is my all time favorite. I watched X Men Origins: Wolverine and was so hardily disappointed. The accent that came and went was so very bad. We were at the theater getting concessions and talking comic book movies and the dude behind the counter had me guess who was going to play Gambit. He said, “Channing…

If only I could bestow on you the number of stars in the heavens.

Once went out with a man whose first line was, “I have a small dick but I let you pee on me.” So, that was not happening. The small penis thing? Nope, not a huge deal. Peeing on me, too much information after hello.

I remember watching The Fast and the Furious at the Drive - In (Yes, we have one. It is one of fewer than 100 that still operate...GO CHERRY BOWL!). I kept yelling ‘Bohdi!!!!” throughout the whole movie. Annoyed my then boyfriend, we left.

No to be dismissive of Rosa Parks but she wasn’t the first woman to refuse to move to the back of the bus. It was Claudette Colvin who was arrested for the same charge as Ms. Parks (I am not trying to be pejorative but I was raised to give some qualifier to represent respect).

Am I the only one that thinks that heads rolled once she got back stage?

I went to a reading and I am super literary geek. As such, I become a dithering imbecile when talking to anyone I admire. Such is the case with Sherman Alexie. I had been to a few readings but I finally had books and the tenacity to just do. I was going to have my shit together. NOT.

And there is the reason I can’t deal with the world. I wish I had your elegance and aplomb. Norman Reedus? Not there? A douche canoe (I hope not)? Bland as vanilla ice cream left on a counter?

Our local WIC refers pregnant women there to get pre-natal vitamins. You would think that fact you want prenatal vitamins would indicate you plan to keep the baby. But they don’t just want you to have the baby, they want you to accept Christ. God forbid you bring your partner. They took him out the room and three men…

Swear to the Universe, my friend from out of town and I met in Detroit as she had a layover and was landing at Metro. We went to an AMAZING Coney Island and she (oops! Damn work getting in the way of posting) wanted Ayibe (I was completely ignorant what that was. Apparently it was Ethiopian cheese? I live in nowhere…

I just look at her and feel like I need to hand her a face wipe and tell her to go home. I think that this says far more about my case of the olds rather anything about anyone else. Kinda’ hit me in the gut when I read she was 18. I suppose I am so far away from the signpost that said 18 that I have no perspective…

I most definately don’t speak for anyone but myself but for me, it’s never been a gendered thing. My best friend of 16 years is male and I am female. My need for a close friend outside of my 10 year marriage is more a release valve and an expansion of my world . Generally, it seems better if the socks on the floor or…

Indeed.

For real. I can’t believe that genocidal, racist fuck is even on our twenties. He made money with Jon Overton in land speculation specifically set aside for the Cree and Chickasaw by treaty. He actively participated in the propagation of slavery and the increased power of slave owners to get their “property” back. I…

I have two kids. I love them and without a doubt think they are cool as fuck. However, once you reach a “certain age,” every friend has babies/toddlers/preschoolers/grade schoolers/tweens/teens (see???? This shit get exhausting!) and my Facebook is more like some, “Vagina Production Jamboree!” I hate it. I don’t send…

I went to a show with my now husband to a not terribly well know electronica/punk/industrial band, Mindless Self Indulgence. I was 29 years old and about 4 months pregnant so I was old and cranky as the crowd consisted of twig thin girls dressed in very little and lots of fishnet. The weird thing about me and…

At first I pictures Nelly Furtado. I thought it would explain the dancing Skittle period but then it was Nelly. This is exactly why I need to read the whole thing but it seemed to explain so much.

“It’s so huge! Oh my God, it’s so big,”...said no one ever at the Republican Convention.