Joke's on you, Tom. They're actually really big fans of St. Peter.

Rob (Gronkowski) has now been cleared by all his doctors...

I hope he doesn't tell the judge he doesn't remember the shots in question. You can't use that excuse twice in a row.

+1

The arresting officer immediately recognized him as a Sandusky when they found his grille wrapped around a pole in a school zone.

+1

+1

The resort was doomed to failure years ago when the supreme leader decreed that anyone caught using lifts in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea would be executed.

More like, Rollover Tide, amirite?

Sadly, all of this could have been avoided had the production team in Brazil attended Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat.

You see? This is exactly why I stopped using TweetDeck.

Idiot. +1

When asked what he would do after the setback, Fechter replied, "Something will come up. In my line of work something always comes up."

It's sad stories such as this that convinced me to invite my savior JC into my life.

+1

I almost went that way, but I get embarrassed when discussing my cock's inflation issues.

Well, same here, but just one hand. Otherwise, you may as well just cut off my penis.

My last girlfriend gave me the same nickname. Unfortunately, she did so because my cock always finished first.

Thank you, Donny.

Goddamnit. Somebody is going to pay for this. Not the NCAA or colleges, obviously, but somebody...