I heard it was only a strained I have.

The post may have been deleted, but if you really need to see an oversized dick from Ball State, you can just tune in to FS1's All Takes Matter.

Enjoy your star for making me look that up and confirming that yes, that is a real thing and a hell of a deep cut.

How dare deadspin publish a post by Mr. Petchesky, with his slavic sounding name, on this, the 5th anniversary of the Ljubljana Marshes hot air balloon crash in Slovenia. I am aghast at the insensitivity.

“Is the coach a dick?”

The expression “blood is thicker than water” originally meant that the bond between comrades is stronger than family, as in bathing in the blood of your enemies is a pretty powerful bonding experience, and it has been bastardized into meaning the exact opposite.

For real. I honestly don’t think kids owe their parents much, if anything. Why on earth would you bring a child into the world, and then vote AGAINST that child’s best interests, and still expect your child to accommodate you? Being the bigger person is great and all, but that doesn’t mean you have to sit there and…

Unsolicited advice from someone who survived a very necessary estrangement from her own mother: beware of anyone who attempts to convince you that you should be able to look past this. I wish someone had told me 20 years ago that “blood is not thicker than safety.” Thank you and good luck.

She was only 15 years old!

“...he had eaten five banana splits backstage and had to take a dump.”

Fun fact: McKenna does that “back to me” bit in conversation too.

Deadspin: Come for the dick jokes, stay for the... more dick jokes.

Why can’t black people protest peacefully?

Lol at this bitterness.

because Page Six clicked publish, and then i clicked publish

because we all love and miss the Obamas, thank you very much.

Here’s a fun article about how Mr. Brightside has basically never left the UK charts since 2004. Makes me super happy. http://www.npr.org/2017/06/04/530079710/mr-brightside-will-never-die-and-heres-why

I would bail on brunch to help the Obamas for something as trifling as a phone ID, too. Malia is a national treasure!

“People are saying only five things were different on that page. I don’t know, but people, great people have called me. And, you know, they’re saying it. Five. It’s five things.”

“More fake news from Highlights for Kids: I colored in the lines the best and am not a Goofus.”