Seasons in the Sun was written by Rod McKuen!

We use garlic powder the same way some people use salt. Always shake a little onto/into everything (except the dog’s bowl; it’s extremely toxic to dogs, poor deprived creatures.)

There is a story, maybe apocryphal, that Nome, Alaska, got its name because people started settling there once gold was found. This camp didn’t have a name yet so a cartographer put “Name” (as in “Need a name/don’t have a name”) on a map of Alaska, someone misread the handwriting and started distributing maps with a…

http://www.steamboattoday.com/

When they show the Bronco “chase” (which seemed to go on for like three days) that is the time when you whip up the pitcher of drinks and distribute. When the Johnny Cochran character says, “If the glove don’t fit you must acquit” you must insert a funnel and pour the liquor directly into your throat.

But who will play Nicole Brown Simpson? Ron Goldman? Nicole’s sister? Ron’s dad? Judge Ito? Kato Kaelin? F. Lee Bailey and Alan Dershowitz horned in on this thing, of course they did. Just bring in the whole cast of “Friends” and throw in some Seinfeld and Mad About You and Murphy Brown talent. Isn’t this thing…

It is only fitting that this is a companion piece from the producer(s?) who brought us “American Horror Story.” I hope they do the Clinton/Lewinsky “scandal” next.

Oh no, I think Bobby Finger got the intention right, here’s the definition:

I don’t think écriveuse is wrong.

So true. A further irony is that I’m a middle-aged white male married to a middle-aged black male, so there’s the gay/POC thing, and for this reason my friend thinks that being untainted by sexual relations with women I’d be especially predisposed to this kind of bar chit-chat. I said to him, “If this were 1962 my…

The whole thing was so strange now that I think about it. This was 1987, before most Jezebel readers were alive. I was fresh out of college and my friend had scored a job at this restaurant so I would hang out there with much older and wealthier patrons, some of whom would bring in their mistresses. My friend was…

I’ll just drop this in here. I’m a guy and am best buddies with a woman I’ve known for 30 years. She’s married and I like her husband enough, and he likes me, so every so often the two of us go out for a couple of beers or whatever. They have four kids.

I believe this. Some people are idiots around animals. I’ve had dogs my entire life, all of them happy and healthy and well-adjusted except for one, who for a period of about two years decided she didn’t like other dogs. I don’t know why, she was a friendly pup when I got her, then kind of snapped, and then two years…

If you’re a man in a same-sex marriage and you make 1/10th of what your husband does you’re expected to do all the domestic work. Believe me.

Furious, so furious. I feel like I’m growing a womb and a couple of ovaries just reading about this. I hope my grand-nieces in the 22nd-century don’t have to hear about or put up with this nonsense.

I am silently screaming in rage (figuratively, not really) about this 41%. I’m a childless guy who has a gig where I could work from home but I prefer to work in the office, because it’s calmer and I like the sociability of the place. Two of my most beloved coworkers are mothers of pre-school children. Do these 41%…

One of my favorite restaurant stories, which no one will read because I’m in the grays, involved a friend of mine and one of his coworkers. At his upscale restaurant they had a regular who used to come in with a rotating cast of prostitutes/mistresses. The employees all loved him because he loved to show off to his…

Go for it. Back in the Jurassic era I applied for a job in NYC, where I’d always wanted to live, got the job, gave my notice at work, told my landlord (who was also my next door neighbor, and for whom I worked to reduce my rent) and got a call from my “employer” who told me that he hoped I didn’t think I had a “firm…

I might be completely hallucinating but isn’t your field of study suburbia? If it is,

The motto of the early 1960s might well have been “You can never go wrong with Jell-O, mayonnaise, and aspic, sometimes all at once!”