Well, my husband was almost 32 and I was 29 when we got married a year and a half ago... But since he was still 31 we should be fine according to these statistics? Cha. Ching.

They already tried that, but it was shut down because you can't use gofundme for things that are against the law. They were trying to raise money to pay fees and for the judgement, and since they broke Oregon law, it was shut down quick.

I just look at it as needing to use the heat less in the winter. Cuddle time under a foofy blanket with our jiggly bellies providing some extra insulation? I'll take it.

It had crossed my mind. Don’t fuck with the lady wielding the hot wax.

He has an appointment next Thursday. I know he is going to request a chest wax too because he mentioned it last time. I'm almost ready to 86 him from my customer list.

Exactly.

I wish I could say the wedding band helps, but it doesn’t. I have a client that comes to see me every 4-5 weeks to get his arms waxed (vomit) that tells me I shouldn’t wear my wedding set to work while he stares intensely at my head as I rip hairs free from his forearms. Last time he was in , he mentioned that I…

French fries on a cheeseburger is a mouthgasm and a half.

David’s also has a line inspired by Oleg Cassini (aka Jackie Kennedy’s fashion God. That’s right. Capital “G.”) in your price range.

Now I know what I'm having at my baby shower this summer...

The only time I didn’t scream at the bride picking the Pnina was the one who had it custom made with a lined corset so it wasn’t see through.

Slay, Trey Parker. Slayyyyy.

Voodoo Doughnuts, because fuck cake.

I laughed about it later with friends. “Can you believe that douche canoe?”

Dammit!!! I am waiting for my next guest to arrive at the spa, and I’m trying so hard not to laugh I'm choking. People can hear me.

Dim Bulb reminds me of a ham wearing a bad toupee.

I honestly can't wait for him to remarry. He was very controlling and manipulative in our marriage, and still occasionally still tries to control situations when I'm concerned, especially about our kids. Hopefully when he finally proposes to his girlfriend his attention will be out elsewhere.

Trust me, he got a thank you note on my new monogrammed stationary.

Also, why he needed notice is something I will never understand. It’s not like he was going to be invited to witness the awesomeness that was my wedding and eat the delicious hor d’ouvres I made. You should have seen his face when he found out I am pregnant. Priceless.

The ick factor is high with that one.