32? Ha. Wait until you’re 45. There are not enough jokes in the world...

The reporter has already done what you are asking us to do. If you are too lazy to read and click, then I am too lazy to explain it to you.

I can understand why. He’s never had a public beef with anyone, he’s never been busted doing something shady, he’s always nice and charitable, he’s never had a public rage meltdown, and he’s been in a bunch of really good movies. He’s what a celebrity should be.

Congratulations! That’s great. I used wellbutrin to quit. But I didn’t make everyone else around me take it, too. The point isn’t that people shouldn’t vape, or that it isn’t a great tool to help people quit, but that they shouldn’t do it around others who aren’t also vaping. Also, Leo is doing it during the meal…

Exactly. I have lung disease. I look healthy on the outside, but many things that are fine for everyone else make it difficult for me to breathe. It really baffles me how so many people have such an emotional reaction when challenged about smoking or vaping or fragrance, in particular. Why does it make people so…

I’d like to see full disclosure of the ingredients in the “fragrance” or “flavors.” Synthetic fragrance and flavor ingredients are considered trade secret and can legally contain pretty much anything. Sometimes they’re carcinogenic materials that are forbidden in every other commercial application.

So, if no one is saying that it’s healthy, or more likely to be healthy, why make such a point of the distinction between smoke and vape? And how does it relate to Leo being a rude fucking asshole?

You know she probably just had a dime bag of weed on her or a couple xanax in an unmarked pill box. Otherwise they would have named the drug to make it more salacious. And I wonder if she really had to be that messed up or if being “black and uppity” is enough to get you booted off a plane.

Exactly. If someone else steals a gun and then I kill someone with it, I am responsible for the killing, not the person who originally stole the gun.

Lemme guess: additional debates will take place during the Super Bowl and The Academy Awards.

I wasn’t really clear. I meant to ask, when did they start just handing those tablets off to ladies who didn’t ask for them?

Back in the 80s, a group of friends and I found about 25 photocopies of some guy’s junk just fluttering down the side of the road. We took a group picture with each of us holding one in front of our crotches. Do you think that back in the old clay tablet days, were dudes there chiseling away at their dick pics? When…

If I may quote The Dude, “That’s fuckin’ ingenious, if I understand it correctly.” Now all the kids will need ALL the dolls and ALL the clothes.

I take issue with two particular phrases in this article: 1.) [Beth Stelling and Courtney Pauroso] “admitted to being sexually assaulted and raped” and 2.) [Caroline Sabatier] “confessed to being harassed and assaulted.” Even the way that Gross Things That Happened to Me As A Woman in Comedy is described as allowing…

Why is this a surprise? Did we have reason to suspect otherwise?

I wish it were that easy all the time. Wish we could get him to drop out of the race altogether. Maybe if all we ask him about is vaginas and peeing and sexism?

You. Are. Kidding. Talk about a RAGE STROKE! The good news is (now that you’ve reminded me they were The Letter People) I was able to look into the modern version and not only do they have female consonants now, but they use Ms. in their names! And it only took 25 years.

I disapprove of comparing someone’s ignorance to a barrel of dicks, just as much as I disapprove of calling people pussies. Our sex organs are not inherently bad and shouldn’t be used as pejoratives. And honestly, if you were to go strictly by the definition of harassment, once the idiots said the dildos were…

Gravy is SO much better than sexism. Mmmm. Gravy.

Maybe we should all protest bathroom segregation by peeing in public. That’s got to carry a lesser penalty than a $5k fine and a year in jail. Who’s with me?