Me and my guy have been together for about 10 years, and I've woken to him giving himself a treat on a few occasions. I always either ignore or join in. Those seem like the only two good options. If I'm awake enough, I'll saddle up, if not I'm just going to pretend I'm still out. Laughing will either postpone his…

ARRGGGH. Mr Eepah accidentally wakes me up with this every once in a while, and it gets on my nerves, only because it hinders my fragile-enough-as-it-is ability to sleep through the night. I usually go, "Hey, could you knock that off? I'm trying to sleep!" and he mutters about it being "just scratching myself" and I…

The only thing that is bad about this is that he woke his partner up from her REM cycle. That shit is not on when you have a job to get to in the morning

I just say with increasing volume, "fap fap Fap FAP FAP FAP FAP". It usually gets a laugh out of him.

My new favorite word I heard years ago, but have finally committed to memory: backpfeifengesicht: a face in need of a punch.

German native speaker here: From a feminist point of view, it might be problematic to use Sitzpinkler as an insult. It gets its derogatory effect from the implication that a man sitting down to pee is less manly/impressive/deserving of respect because he pees like a woman, or has been 'forced' by a woman…

My daughter (7) is in a German school. It is really the perfect language to suit her personality. Her brothers are in French school and Spanish Academy. The differences in the languages really do highlight the interesting individuality of their personalities, and it makes for interesting sibling arguments when they…

People don't realize that when they urinate into the water, there is an atomization of the urine and the toilet water that splashes all over everything. Has anyone ever seen a piece of baseboard heat or anything that is metal in the area of a toilet? Usually there is pitting/rusting. It is from the urine. I have…

I experience Fremdshamen much more than Schadenfreude

Fick dich ins Knie.

My personal favorite is "Arschgeige" - "ass violin."

Sure, I'll believe people are getting fines when pigs fly. My entire purpose for being there was to spend time walking in the streets (I have the plantar fasciitis to prove it, now) and observing how people interacted with the space and frankly, the male urination is constant, and of a much higher frequency than…

I didn't say anything about functional nudity. Sure, change into your bathing suit next to the lakeside, who gives a fuck? But it's not necessary for me to see a dick just so a guy can pee in the middle of the street. No part of that is necessary. Does it hurt so much to turn and face the wall if you insist on peeing…

Uh yeah I guess but pissing in public and waving your dick around for all to see is different than a mother letting her baby get its drank on in a Target. There's a difference between the double standard of American nudity and like being justifiably weirded out by seeing guys take a leak in public while abroad.

Oh come one, this has nothing to do with that.

Germans are relatively unconcerned with functional nudity. It's just a body.

OTOH, Puritanical Americans? OMG, someone is breastfeeding? Call the police!! Someone might see a bit of cleavage, or even a bit of aureole! Maybe a flash of a nipple! Scandal!!!

In the four months I lived in Berlin this past fall, not a single day went by that I didn't see a man peeing in a public place, many times without even attempting to conceal it, including flagrant exposure of many penises directly. If the dude is going in the toilet, I consider that a step up.

Conclusion - this judge's bathroom at home is really fucking disgusting. And he probably doesn't flush public toilets.

I'm pretty sure that schadenfreude and fremdshamen are my only emotions.

Yeah, my partner pees sitting down. He finds it more comfortable. The masculinity police haven't come for him yet.

I don't understand how guys get so bent out of shape over this. I go standing up for convience (I also don't piss on the seat, its not that difficult) but if it was the done thing to sit I literally wouldn't care. MRA victim complex so hard here.