My mom's dog pooped in the house over Christmas in a back room. Before it was discovered, she was acting strange (the dog loves me and always wants to be in my lap) and refusing to even come into the living room and generally being sad. Poop was discovered and all made sense.

"No, no, I know I'm not worthy of the things I love, it's OK that you no longer care for me, I know just how bad a dog I am. I'll just sit in this other seat where I'll feel a little sick. It's fine, really. I deserve it."

My dog, who is really fastidious about never going inside (and going in the litter box when he absolutely has to) once had diarrhea in the back seat of my car. He was so ashamed of himself that he wouldn't sit in the back seat (which is his favorite place in the car—he gets car sick) for like three weeks after. I felt…

I'm a cat person through and through, but my god, do dogs have the best "OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS GREAT/ AWFUL!" faces. They also have the greatest "I have no fucking clue about this" faces too.

Days of Our Lives divas drama alert: Lisa Rinna may hate Eileen Davidson. Keep that in mind if Davidson is kidnapped and held in a glass cage in a secret underground lair and replaced by an evil clone or something

This is an excellent scale.

Today, we left the house in a flurry of coats and boots and mittens and hats and kids, etc. When we got home, I discovered my little old lady dog had pooped on the kitchen floor (right in front of the back door) because we all suck and forgot to let her out. She couldn't look at me for about an hour, even though I…

I KNOOOOOOOOOW. The horrified moment of realization and then the profound guilt afterward—I just want to hug the poor dog. What a sweetie.

She's especially right about the boring fashion show. It was a lot more fun in the days of Cher and Geena Davis.

Is....is that Porkchop?

I love both the "Oh no why is this happening??" look while he falls and the "I am in soooooo much trouble" look he has when he gets back up.

gonna go laugh at this forever bye

omg he is horrified

It's a cheap high but when I'm feeling blue nothing makes the world better than bad 90's pop music, Ke$ha (this is her music before she classed up her name so I'm keeping the dollar sign dammit), wine of questionable quality, and pretending I am the most beautiful woman at the club with the best moves. And because…

What slays me about this is that the dog is so obviously upset that he's going to land on his tiny human. Like, they really do love us humans! Sniff. Makes me tear up.

This is how I feel when I chase bubbles.

Jumping animals are my favorite thing (FYI, that is a gliding snake in the first gif, just saying):

THANK YOU, People. This is the most accurate thing in that entire Very Important slideshow.

Makes sense. If Younker got ambitious about it, could she sue the CDC?

Can Younker sue Vinson?