My dog, just today, saved me from getting walked in on by my landlord while I was naked. She’s a good dog.

She’s like those dogs who smell cancer? Cool, cool.

I hope that’s not true because that means they never have any moments that are makeup free with a baggy t-shirt and some sweats and I think only sociopaths can live without those moments.

I hope that in 3 years the Kardashians announce that everything they did was performance art and the joke’s on us, sukas.

I work as a social media manager and just spent 2 hours of my life talking to the manager of an Instagram influencer about a post. The issue was that the guy wanted 5k more to have the product (a chocolate bar) in his mouth instead of his hands. This is what my life is.

I don’t really make much $$$ and that payment per post thing with Scott Disick made me sad as fuck, thanks

Is Boo-Tea made from powdered ghosts?

I quit after the first season, so you made it longer than me! It was so freaking boring.

Also mid second season dropout. I felt like the show kept repeating itself.

Although you didn’t ask me, I’ll tell you what I think. It’s just a boring show. It has an interesting theme and great actors but it’s not strong enough to be a prestige show, which sucks because it had such promise in season 1. It’s not silly or campy enough to be a mindless and fun entertainment show. It’s just…

I didn’t recognize Kate from 1999.

I don’t think I get Michael Sheen.

That’s your concern here?

Folks. There isn’t enough funding going into mental health. There aren’t enough facilities/beds, and in the rare instances where there are, it’s difficult to keep staffing up so that those beds can be filled. Mental health workers are often overworked and underpaid, and in those spaces where more is needed (outreach…

That is why she's famous. For marrying him.

Last part

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1 800 799 7233

We didn’t go to the doctor much when I was a kid. Not because of any religious thing but because my parents were the type to let it run it’s course.

I know!!! I mean, when my brother (yeah an adult but whatever) was diagnosed with cancer, he got hella strong conventional medical treatment and while waiting for it to work did all the hippie home remedies, i think more to feel like he was doing SOMETHING, and to distract him. So like, I get the idea of looking at…

Okay I watched it. I’m convinced it’s Ted Cruz, and he is currently in a Target women’s bathroom.