Claritin-D + the pain relief drug of your choice. Always.

Way to bury the lede! Erika Christensen married a dude with this mustache and the manliest last name - Maness

.77 the mkt value of a man’s orgasm.

Meanwhile...

Lentil burger, I wouldn’t mind as much. It means they’re trying.

I have suffered from wrap delusion myself—wraps are often listed in the vegetarian portion of the menu and offered as “healthy alternatives”—and I am distraught over the fact that I could’ve just been stuffing my face with sandwich bread all this time. If I could take all those wraps back, I certainly would.

I disagree, but thank you so much for that.

Apparently this place was built in 1924 by “an eccentric artist with a penchant for parties” which sounds perfect.

I am procrastinating a giant heap of work right now. My eyes are very tired. Did I hallucinate this? Who do I give $$ to to see this in the NY metro area?

I know, everyone has their own issues and whatnot, but I’m over here like

This doesn’t surprise me at all. Mark Ruffalo is a fracktivist and Bernie is the greenest candidate of them all. Bernie 4 Ever

Would it surprise you to learn that Tilda Swinton speaks to the moon and the moon replies?

You know what would sell more deodorant? Me handing my boyfriend of one month a positive(ly doctored to look positive) preggo test. Sweat for days.*

My college boyfriend never let me forget that I “peed on him” early into our relationship. It was a pee droplet from a preggo test I had just taken in a panic in his dorm bathroom.

Dolezal’s reverse passing—new term! new term!—

My username has never been more applicable.

Something tells me she could have pulled off a pretty good Blanche...

This is a good starting place, but I’m skeptical.

This is a strange collection of famous dudes.

This is amazing. Thank you for sharing.