He’s basically what the movie “Rookie of the Year” would have been if the kid had been Ben Shapiro. 

Read the paperwork bro, you gave Mark Zuckerberg the right of prima nocta to all your children.

It’s on a piece of paper that means its the right thing.

The FBI declined to investigate something that would implicate rich white men?!? No. Way.

Great job everybody, now hit the showers!

The holes in his palms really spices it up.

The USPS gets $0 in taxpayer money. The USPS is, since its creation, self-supporting. 

They need to build a free service that broadcast a show at a certain time of day and injects commercials at predetermined intervals where you are forced to watch the commercial to help pay for the content and depending on the time of the day will determine the cost of the commercial. 

Hell has another angel.

Wait, wait, wait. Pete Wentz? How did I not know this?

No, it’s more about the idea that it would wipe out hoards of Harvard and Yale graduates, which inherently makes the world a better place.

So when a Kansas City restaurant fails its health inspection, does the health department clean out the entire pantry and pour bleach over the contents? Just asking questions.

They're going for a PlayStation 2 aesthetic 

Even when we don’t make you mad we make you mad? You sure we’re the problem bud?

A story is posted about a 15-year-old girl being sexually groomed by her mentor and your response is “But she became a stripper!”

pretty sexist to describe a 28 year old female journalist as a child

Obama could’ve pushed for true single-payer. He could’ve prosecuted the bankers. He could’ve not droned more people and deported more refugees than any prior president.

TL;DR: A whole bunch of old people you’ve never met get to decide whether or not you get to chase your dreams.

I’m desperately trying to choke you with my mind. Please let me know if it works. 

So instead of a guy who overborrows and uses bankruptcy as a tool, you want a guy who overlends and uses federal bailouts as a tool.