This is going to be an incredible sight when the distracted jet ski dealership owner driving it cuts me off in traffic.

I’m disabling my ad blocker just so I can make Kinja work just so I can call you an absolute fucking moron.

Even if your bullshit about poor ol’ Georgie just doin’ what he thought was necessary “when Americans felt very unsafe” (WHAT THE FUCK DID INVADING IRAQ HAVE TO DO WITH THAT YOU BLITHERING FUCKING IDIOT) was…

You’re the type of asshole who blames women when their nudes get posted as revenge porn or in The Fappening, aren’t you?

I have a new crop of favorite young players based on how they perform in sports video games. This year was Acuna Jr, Albies and Foltynewicz because I bought MLB The Show and would connive to acquire them with every franchise.

I struggle to root for the Braves in real life despite those three because fuck their racist…

This explains Mark Cuban’s announcement that he’d be making the principles of Xi Jingping Thought mandatory reading for Mavs players and staff members.

You think the CIA/FBI/NSA, military and cops are going to side with liberals/the left?

You think the CIA/FBI/NSA, military and cops are going to side with liberals/the left?

We need a woman champion willing to ride the rails around the country whipping anti-vaxxer essential oil pyramid scheme-shilling Facebook Jesus mom ass.

The process shit is even worse in soccer - I got in an argument with a Liverpool fan because van Dijk’s new contract doubled his money and WHAT COULD THAT MEAN FOR THE NEXT TRANSFER WINDOW.

Liverpool itself is immensely profitable, won the Champions League last year (in large part because of van Dijk) and John Henry is…

Pill

They’re not even cool looking cars. I’ll never own a 911 but they (the old ones at least) have a beauty to go with the performance, even the sub-million supercars still have some panache (particularly McLaren).

This level, though, they’re just tacky blobs made for people who should be guillotined.

Hardy heartiest harbinger of haggis

Death, taxes and the Milkshake Duck

Ground meat?

Not chili, bro.

Orphan remains my greatest moviegoing experience. It was just a so-so thriller, but at the big reveal a tween/early-teen girl sitting down the row from us stood up and shouted ESTHER GOT TITTIES at the top of her lungs. It was incredible and probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in public.

At least they didn’t spell it London Felcher.

Plus this is just some quality shit talk, not like an elderly sportswriter telling the uppity athletes to pull up their pants.

I saw some Raiders fans pitching a fit when the sexual assault story broke because the accompanying photo dared to show him in a Raiders uniform. Even when I can make myself look past CTE, players who commit domestic/sexual/etc. assault, fascist coaches and racist owners to want to watch football again, running into…

Roethlisberger’s going to weigh 500 pounds by the beginning of next season.

Everything you listed ranges from unwatchably boring (Marvel shows, Santa Clarita Diet) to thoroughly mediocre (Master of None, House of Cards). Netflix Originals are written to the algorithm (The Simpsons and depression memes are popular on the Internet, let’s make Bojack Horseman!) and take no chances.