Scientology has better music.
better red than dead
better-red-than-dead
Yeah, hearing “roses really smell like poo-poo-poo” it was up there with the first time a friend played Illmatic for me.
Plagued by mediocre performances from the half of Outkast that no one wants to see
Jerry didn’t do anything wrong
ugh, I see I made the right decision
What stupid shit did Cuban say this time? My life as a Mavs fan has been vastly improved by pretending he doesn’t exist.
The two albums before The Blueprint were both #1s and sold almost exactly as much as The Blueprint. That’s a weird way to revive someone’s career.
regular 1964-2019 things
Driving 5 miles under the limit gives you more time to text.
My old roommate brought a guy home, he insisted on stopping for magnums - turns out he was abnormally long but thin and wound up losing a condom inside of her.
He might want to remember the birth of his children, how to drive a car, etc., presumably.
It’s weird, growing up in Dallas Hansen always seemed like the kind of stick in the mud crank who’d worry about the unwritten rules of baseball. Aged woke Hansen turned out to be consistently great.
He’s a halfwit 4Chan edgelord who happens to be worth millions of dollars instead of living in mommy’s basement.
50/50 shot of the game time temp of the 2020 Winter Classic being 80 degrees.
He’s (probably unfairly) going to be labeled a flop in 18 months but Chelsea will sell a bunch of shirts in the US, I imagine.
I did not enjoy my UTI “concept.”
Best first date of my life - we met for lunch on a patio, she had a couple of margaritas, when a bro-dozer drove past rolling coal she stood up and screamed “you’ve got a tiny penis” at it. I fell a little bit in love.
Unfortunately, it turned out that two margaritas was kind of a light appetizer to her daily alcohol…
Apparently coxswains are in the 120 pound range - presumably I fuck up the team’s chances coming in heavier. I think I could lose 120 pounds in 4 years if it was a matter of survival but I also think I might rather be dead.
Perhaps Amazon should pay enough to make his job worth the effort.